Saturday, June 4, 2011

The New Generation of Parenting

Before anything, I do not have any children, I still consider myself a child. So no, this is no profound analysis of parenting based on anything I have experienced myself. It's more of what I see around me. And well, everyone has an opinion about everything (the reasons blogs exist in the first place!) and well, here is mine.

Since I was 15 years old, or maybe even younger, I've not been fond of children (yes, I was a child myself, but didn't like anyone younger). Thought of them as a nuisance and a waste of space. Howling, throwing tantrums, the works. Growing up in India, it became very common for children to be far, far away from mystical words like 'manners' and 'respect'.

People around me told me I would grow out of this phase. I did. Now I don't dislike kids anymore, its the parenting I question.

I think there are a few primary problems with parents. The first could be that they try to love their kids a bit too much. Rather, try to show every ounce of the love they have for the kids. Many of the parents I see now had relatively strict parents when they were children. Perhaps they are trying to over compensate for that? I understand that you love your child, but if the kid is going around the dining table, pulling a guest's arm whilst she is trying to have a meal is a bit too much! Why don't such parents tell them to simply stop? Are they just too scared that any harsh words will make their five years olds face a traumatic life changing experience? Well the only life changing experience the kids would face is learning how to behave. These parents are by far the most annoying I've ever met.

Sometimes I see parents, middle-class mostly, whom I don't think ever thought about parenting. It's like there was a fashionable bus going around town and the only way to get on was to have a handful of kids. So voila! Let's have some kids. These are the parents everyone has travelled with either in a train or an aircraft. The kids going on with their "mummy... papa.. what is this... when will we reach?" (perfectly normal questions for a 8-10 year old), but the ghastly thick parents simply not responding to them. So the child is on a non-stop rut, giving Barkha Dutt some stiff competition. And the parents, well, they help create the perfect advertisement setting for noise-canceling headphones imbedded in your brain (of sorts, if you know what I mean).

The interesting ones are who have kids, but don't quite have the time for them. I do sympathise with them to a certain extent. Everyone needs a career, make money and all that jazz. They try to be good parents, but they tend to let their children loose with materialistic replacements for the parents' time. These kids would go on holiday to a place where they could run and play, but they'd rather sit infront of the television and blank out! Gameboys (or whatever they are called), phones, Xbox, etc. They can't quite have a conversation! These kids are savvy with electronics and remote controls, but unfortunately, they are not aware of the surroundings around them. They learn whatever the virtual world shows them, but that's pretty much it. One would argue that these gadgets are a great source for information and education too, but I feel it shares a very thin line with information overload. As far as I remember, learning by experience is a whole different ball game.

Again, all this is just an opinion! There are tons and tons of fabulous parents I've seen, who sacrifice a great deal for their kids. Even the ones I've mentioned above have done the same. This is just my happiness at the fact that I don't hate kids anymore!!