My mother had the famous book "The Secret" lying with for a long time and kept telling me to read it. All I said to her was that it just wasn't my cup of tea, and it really wasn't. I'm more the type who's read everything from Sidney Sheldon to the Twilight saga, with favourites going back to The Thorn Birds. Fiction and even management books like Tipping Point are my "thing."
Things weren't going so well in my personal life and I was an emotional wreck. My mother one day forced me to open a random page of the book and just read it a little and well, I did. After that, there was no looking back.
For the ones who've heard of the book, they would know that the book is based on the "law of attraction". What caught me was this one page that I opened at random which spoke about how when things are feeling down and out, it's you who needs to pull yourself back into a positive frame of mind. There is no one else who can do that for you.
I closed the book at this reference and thought to myself of all the times my friends and I might have gone clubbing and one of us didn't seem to be in the mood for a party because of some hassle somewhere.
Many a time, I have seen people (including myself) think that if I simply get drunk, I'm going to forget about everything and have a good time. And well, they do have a good time.
Fact is that alcohol does not make people happy. After all, we have come across enough of the 'Devdas' type, whose whining becomes worse with every sip. So no, alcohol is obviously not "it." But drinking has still helped many of us in one of those moods. However, I realised, it wasn't the alcohol that did the trick, it's how we tell ourselves and convince ourselves that this WILL help. We WILL be in a jolly mood after this. I let this analogy sink into me.
That is when I knew this book is really saying something. To get the absolute gist of things, this books is a must read. Actually, it's not just a read, take your time with it, let every word sink in.
This book wasn't my cup of tea, just like it might not be for many of you, but books like these are hard to come by.
I strongly recommend anyone and everyone from anywhere to get this book today!
Friday, September 11, 2009
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
A Friend In Need Is A Friend Indeed, Or Is It?
As the saying goes, a friend in need is a friend indeed. But I have come to realise that the opposite seems to work more.
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When things go bad, you're low and upset, you can call up friends and they end up always being that nice sympathiser, consoling, listening to problems. It's another ball game all together if they feel they need to do it or if it's genuine. Point is, they do.!
In happier times of course, the reverse seems to happen. If you're happy with the person in question, they might listen to your happy stories. Again though, if you end up happier than they were at the same event, boy oh boy are you in for a shock! They don't want to know the fun moments you had, they'll just get pissed off that you had fun.!
IF you made the mistake of telling someone your happy/fun/good times stories, who wasn't even there at the event, but was still happy doing his/her own thing, you're screwed beyond words!! They don't give a damn!! They don't want to hear it.
It's a pity that one friend can make another one feel left out. As hard as it is to accept, all of us have done it to someone else. Emotions can not be controlled, but to show them or not is completely in your hands. I'm not saying keep feeling angry but just suppress it, what I'm saying is that think about it rationally. Go through you own past and find a similar spot in your life. If someone is going on and on about how fabulous their life is, anyone can get snappy. But when it comes to the level that not even one positive thing from your life can be mentioned without inviting a condescending remark from a friend, you know there is something wrong somewhere.
Live and Let Live.
I apologise for not apologising to people because I'm happy.
I'm happy and I'm loving it.!!
P.S. - Exceptions are always there and it is the exceptions that make the rule.!!
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Saturday, January 20, 2007
Adulthood Knocking At The Door
We always have a choice between good and bad, right and wrong.. and as time passes, the choices stay the same but we complicate it by saying what is logical and what is not.. what is it that we want to do and what not.. what might our friends say or might not say at all...!! And what makes our life tick, what differentiates Donald Trump from a regular salesman are the choices each of us opt for.
A friend of mine called me in tears one day, telling me how she was fed up with life, with the monotony and the can of worms that is in store for us and me being logical, explained to her the bigger picture that she needs to look at. And as I tried to console her, a realisation about life came seeping into me.
We always have the option of seeing how dreadful our life is, but then again, how many times are we grateful for all the good times, for all the little things which we don't even consider, not realising how our life would be incomplete without them. What is hard, is remembering all this when you are down in the dumps and everything ahead looking blurred and uncertain.
And AGAIN we have the option of letting things be, giving it 'time' OR we push aside the issues at hand and learn from the not-so-good experiences and make each and every one of them a reason to become stronger.
Scary is what life gets from the major issue in our life being getting permission to be out of the house for just another hour to suddenly deciding about the career we want to choose which will stay with us for a lifetime. And we never are alone in all this, we have a lot of advice coming our way but we don't like listening, because we know best..!! But when things don't turn out to be as planned, how lonely we feel...!!
Looking back at the last few years, I now wonder how different I would have been and the person I could have been if only sensiblity prevailed over supernumerary wants. The importance of time and people is realised by most after a slight blow or a reality check which could be harsh alright but when these instances do happen, a person can grow within moments and according to me, a person is lucky to have these set backs of sorts at an early age so that as you age on, you have a perspective, have a mind of your own and most importantly, you have something that defines you and this may not even be realised by you..!!
But at the end of all this, it IS easier said than done. Logic, the beautiful and sensible word that it is, has mastered the art of eluding the person who needs it the most and in my short little life, I know that logic is a skill that needs to be mastered..!!
A friend of mine called me in tears one day, telling me how she was fed up with life, with the monotony and the can of worms that is in store for us and me being logical, explained to her the bigger picture that she needs to look at. And as I tried to console her, a realisation about life came seeping into me.
We always have the option of seeing how dreadful our life is, but then again, how many times are we grateful for all the good times, for all the little things which we don't even consider, not realising how our life would be incomplete without them. What is hard, is remembering all this when you are down in the dumps and everything ahead looking blurred and uncertain.
And AGAIN we have the option of letting things be, giving it 'time' OR we push aside the issues at hand and learn from the not-so-good experiences and make each and every one of them a reason to become stronger.
Scary is what life gets from the major issue in our life being getting permission to be out of the house for just another hour to suddenly deciding about the career we want to choose which will stay with us for a lifetime. And we never are alone in all this, we have a lot of advice coming our way but we don't like listening, because we know best..!! But when things don't turn out to be as planned, how lonely we feel...!!
Looking back at the last few years, I now wonder how different I would have been and the person I could have been if only sensiblity prevailed over supernumerary wants. The importance of time and people is realised by most after a slight blow or a reality check which could be harsh alright but when these instances do happen, a person can grow within moments and according to me, a person is lucky to have these set backs of sorts at an early age so that as you age on, you have a perspective, have a mind of your own and most importantly, you have something that defines you and this may not even be realised by you..!!
But at the end of all this, it IS easier said than done. Logic, the beautiful and sensible word that it is, has mastered the art of eluding the person who needs it the most and in my short little life, I know that logic is a skill that needs to be mastered..!!
Saturday, November 11, 2006
Srinagar, Kashmir
This is the place I call home..!! Hearing stories about the place from my family, about its lost glory makes me wonder WHY it happened..???
Kashmir is where I feel liberated.. The openness of the place, the old town charm of the place, the fact that newspapers are not available before 2 in the afternoon, all the little bakeries with their famous cakes.. it all adds to the magic of it...!!!
Walking down the markets, every shopkeeper is at his best to please you to buy his ware but why this is different from someone in Delhi is for the simple reason that the traders over there don't know if there will be more customers tomorrow...!! They live a life of pure uncertainty...!! Even the shikara wallas and the owners of the house boat will try to get the maximum our of you for the sheer reason of the uncertainty...!! I remember how about four years back, when I went there in the summer vacations, for a change, the "VACANT" signs outside the houseboats were gone and every houseboat was lit up in the evenings with the tourists sitting in the little balconies.. watching the beautiful sun sets, how the Zabarvan range changes its colours with the sun setting and the same for the the Dal lake...!!
Its simply a magical place...!! The people in the valley live with a hope... everyone wishing SOMETHING would change.. some people say its the government that needs to change, others just say its all because of terrorists from PoK...!! Whatever the reason, I am addicted to the place for its beauty and the simple, almost rural life one lives there...!!
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Kashmir is where I feel liberated.. The openness of the place, the old town charm of the place, the fact that newspapers are not available before 2 in the afternoon, all the little bakeries with their famous cakes.. it all adds to the magic of it...!!!
Walking down the markets, every shopkeeper is at his best to please you to buy his ware but why this is different from someone in Delhi is for the simple reason that the traders over there don't know if there will be more customers tomorrow...!! They live a life of pure uncertainty...!! Even the shikara wallas and the owners of the house boat will try to get the maximum our of you for the sheer reason of the uncertainty...!! I remember how about four years back, when I went there in the summer vacations, for a change, the "VACANT" signs outside the houseboats were gone and every houseboat was lit up in the evenings with the tourists sitting in the little balconies.. watching the beautiful sun sets, how the Zabarvan range changes its colours with the sun setting and the same for the the Dal lake...!!
Its simply a magical place...!! The people in the valley live with a hope... everyone wishing SOMETHING would change.. some people say its the government that needs to change, others just say its all because of terrorists from PoK...!! Whatever the reason, I am addicted to the place for its beauty and the simple, almost rural life one lives there...!!
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